My brain has been put into a mortar and pestle. I didn’t realize it. It was a daily grind. Posting something for Kathmandu Clinic on Instagram made me scroll through the most obnoxious level of human behavior. There is no way to avoid it. It’s like going to the grocery store because you were making cake and you just needed some damn eggs and you head on down the road thinking it’s a quick errand–and lo and behold you’re in a 20 car pile up and the cake will not get made.
I don’t know how people stomach scrolling and scrolling and posting and posting day in and day out watching fake-ness scream right back at them and not know it. I have young patients tell me they can’t even make friends even if they wanted to now if they don’t have a social network/social media “reason” to be at a location. She said she can’t just “show up” to a concert and say, “Hey, what’s up? Can I join your group?” Apparently according to this very reliable 23 year old, the group will look at you like you’re an alien if you just “show up.” You can’t just show up anymore. You can’t be a human having a common connection anymore. How is this even possible? How did we get here?
We have lost all touch with humanity and reality. We are social creatures. We crave others. We look up to others. We like being with other humans. And if that means these humans are on a screen and we just left, right, up and down all day long, then so be it. The remote tribe in Brazil, existing for 2000 years, doing their thing ended up getting some “upgrades” from our “modern world” and guess what happened? They got in social media and went straight to pornograpy and other addictive behavior. Read it and you’ll understand. Yes, real modern. We show off about our flashy vehicles. We get contorted if we don’t “get a vacation” every so many months. We have to grandstand about “taking care of our kids”. And then we complain about our kids on a public forum full of strangers. We are not “modern”. Our value system, excuse my language, is FUCKED. We are devolving and we don’t need to.
So, I ended up posting a flyer for meditation weekly (FYI the link may not work if it is past Dec 2024). Do please check that out if you can. I posted this on Instagram. I got immediately shut down by a bot on Instagram. So then I have to appeal? So I have to wait for a human to tell me, no offense to the lovely human that is pulling a paycheck from Instagram, that what I did was justified. The whole thing made me feel icky. All of it. I don’t have to justify what I am doing for my business to this third party corporate whore of a company that spies on me. I don’t have to justify any of it–especially when I know I am doing a good thing. And you know, I may be just getting all bent out of shape for something really innocent, but guaranteed if I shelled out for an advertisement, I’d but in front of the line and I’d not be “banned” or “reprimanded” or “in trouble”.
That leads me to that feeling…“in trouble”. I am tired of being in trouble. I get in trouble for posting pictures of having a good time. I get in trouble for posting something innocent. I get in trouble for commenting and being forced to scroll through trash account and happen to find “family posts” that exclude me. I am tired of feeling like I have to tiptoe my feelings around all of it. I’m a tell it like it is person. That’s just me. So if I start telling it like it is, then I will most likely get “cancelled”. Before I get arrested or publicly shamed. I will instead bow out. I’m out. If they win, they win. I don’t care at this point. It’s a loser’s game.
And, by the way, it took me about 2 hours to figure out how to delete my Facebook and Instagram account. And even then, they have enticed me to “come back” in 30 days if I felt like I made a mistake. And I’ve slept soundly since. So overall, I think it was well worth it. I can brush up the old website and feel like I can spread out here. You’ll be hearing from me on this more often!
